No One's Watching
by CornCob
Summary: Sequal to "Just Drive." Having gotten their first apartment together, the boys are on their way to their new home. Too bad Alucard isn't willing to wait. Alucard/Sephiroth.


**Disclaimer**: Don't own FFVII, Hellsing, or any of their characters. Nor do I own Whataburger, Wendy's, Checkers, Cadillac, Jeep, Coke-a-Cola, or any brand of mp3 player. If I possessed even a fraction of any of those companies, I'd be so loaded that I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction.

**A/N:** Yea. Sequal to "Just Drive," though you can pretty much read it without having read the first one. The confusion would be minor. I went through and tried to debug this on my own, so I apologize for any and all errors that I missed- I tried. I spent forever trying to come up with a title for this one, but inspiration abandonned me, I'm afraid. I wanted to call this one just what I wanted to call the last one, "Road Head," but I'm pretty sure that the titles have to be like....non-explicit. I was then hoping to magically discover a word that's definition was something along the lines of "Men who like to fuck in their cars," but all I kept finding online were words that meant something along the lines of "Men who like to fuck their cars." Yea, not what I was going for...Ha. Alucard's weird, but I don't think he's _that_ weird.

Hope you enjoy!

**.33.33.33.**

Sephiroth sat comfortably in the passenger's seat of Alucard's roomy Cadillac, having long since given up driving when the other man was in the vehicle. He'd learned upon their first meeting that it was safer to let Alucard drive. He was staring down at the paperwork in his hands, green eyes skimming over the words thoughtfully, though he knew well enough what it said by now. He worked very hard to keep the smile off of his face, though the other man likely knew that it was there, just beneath the surface. Alucard always knew.

After an eternity of searching, signing, and reevaluating, the two of them had finally gotten their first apartment. Allowing a light smile to break through his otherwise disinterested expression, Sephiroth reached into this pocket and withdrew a single key on a silver ring. It would have made sense to stop somewhere along the way and make a copy, but they had decided that it could wait. Sephiroth was rather eager to get to their new home, anyway. They'd been in the apartment dozens of times, sure, but never when it was _theirs._

Sephiroth continued to smile, running his thumb over the shining key before returning it to the safety of his pocket. He tried not to think about all of the work that would have to take place over the next few weeks. He _hated_ the moving process. Plus, his dresser was fucking heavy.

While Sephiroth was debating the various weights of his worldly goods and the levels of 'suck' in accordance to lifting them, Alucard's mind was elsewhere.

As far as he was concerned, the moving process could be spread out of the next few years. They had plenty of money to continue paying for their separate houses in the meantime. The only immediate fixture that he felt they required was a bed. He smiled darkly, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he cast a glance at the man next to him.

He wondered what it would be like to make love in their home for the first time. It would be different than it was in his bed, or in Sephiroth's, where the territory undoubtedly belonged to one of them. No, now it would be equal possession; common ground. It would be strange to roll out of bed in the morning and know that both of them were _home_, and that regardless of whether the two had made plans, he would come home in the evening to find Sephiroth. It sounded…nice.

"That was a stop sign."

Alucard's train of thought broke in an instant as he looked into the rearview mirror to see the stop sign that he had, indeed, just blown through. He heard Sephiroth snicker beside him and he rolled his eyes.

Internally, he was absolutely horrified at the path his thoughts had taken him down. Had he really thought about something so…sentimental? He was disgusted with himself. He justified it that it would be nice to have, on hand at all times, such a gorgeous, willing body waiting to make his every sexual desire come true. He was simply excited to move in with Sephiroth because it meant convenient, mind-blowing sex at any time, whenever the mood struck. Yep.

He shook his head and shifted his concentration to his driving. He was not going to run another stop sign. Sephiroth would never let him live down two in one day.

--

"They have absolutely no shame."

Alucard looked over to Sephiroth, who was staring out across the intersection, towards a filthy, dark green jeep. Inside of the stopped vehicle, Alucard could see the distant forms of two boys making out heavily. The pair's fun was short lived, however, as they were forced to cease their activity when the light turned and the car behind them laid on the horn. Alucard's lips parted in a smirk. With all the time he spent with Sephiroth, coming into contact with the pale haired man's circle of friends had been inevitable, and on far more than just a few occasions. It was during these periods of coerced exposure that he had learned that Cloud Strife and Zackary Fair liked to make out. This had always struck him as odd since he could have sworn that the blond had been seeing that stony faced brunet. Oh well, he liked playing out rape fantasies with Sephiroth, so who was he to judge Cloud for his sexual fidelity.

The jeep was long gone by the time their own light had turned green, and Seph had gone back to looking over the paperwork. Alucard watched green eyes skimming over the text-covered sheet. He couldn't help but wonder if the other man thought it had changed since he'd last read it over.

"It's not going to change—"

"I'm trying to look busy." Alucard had barely finished his statement when Sephiroth gave his quick response, everything about the tone indicating that there was an implied "jackass" to be tacked onto the end of the sentence.

Alucard quirked an eyebrow at the hasty response, not used to being cut off.

"Excuse me?"

Sephiroth cut him a sideways look of annoyance, though Alucard got the idea that it wasn't directed at him. He watched as the silver haired man leaned forward in his seat, doing a very exaggerated impression of tying tennis shoes. Instead of informing Sephiroth that one could not tie _flip flops_, he used the opportunity to look passed the man, quickly gaining a clear understanding of Sephiroth's need to look preoccupied. There was a blue minivan in the lane just next to them, and through the barely tinted windows, Alucard could see six little faces pressed up against the glass, six sets of eyes trained intently on his uncomfortable companion. He gave a light chuckle- Kids loved Sephiroth.

"Don't worry," he reassured his lover, casting him glance that was not returned.

"They can't get you."

Sephiroth glared at him, having tucked the papers into the glove box for fear that they might blow out of the convertible vehicle should he set them down to give Alucard an impolite hand gesture in front of a group of children.

Beside them, the minivan continued to match their speed.

"Could you speed up, please?"

Alucard ignored his agitated request, casting a look to the van.

"Speed limit's forty-five. I'm doing fifty-two. Kids like you."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, staring intently at the traffic before them, praying that they both wouldn't catch the upcoming light.

"Or slow down?"

"I'm in the left lane. I have an obligation to the at least the speed limit. You should wave to them." Alucard grinned as he gave his response, waiting for Sephiroth's next suggestion.

Sephiroth tossed him an annoyed glance.

"Then can you switch lanes? I hate children."

"Where would you suggest I merge? The median, perhaps? You should blow me on the way home."

"Just—" Sephiroth paused in his response, the words dying on his tongue as his brain registered what Alucard had just said. He turned in his seat a little to look directly at the dark haired man, a look of disgust and confusion on his face.

"Where did that come from?"

Alucard reached up to adjust his rearview mirror, not bothering to return the gaze this time.

"The correct phrasing would be "From where did that come," Darling."

Sephiroth just stared at him emotionlessly. It was usually his job to make people sound unintelligent. He didn't care to have it reversed on him, though Alucard seemed unconcerned.

"I think that you should give me head while we drive home. I did it for you."

Sephiroth considered arguing that the two hadn't known each other at that time, but realized that that argument would get him no where that he wanted to be, and very quickly. Instead he only regarded him in irritation.

"The answer is "No.""

The light that Sephiroth had been dreading flashed yellow as they approached it, and Alucard thanked his unnaturally good fortune. Now he could institute the eye contact that would win this argument in his favor. It was also fortunate that, in the midst of their disagreement, Sephiroth seemed to have forgotten about the kids in the van, which was good since the blue vehicle had come to a halt right beside them.

He turned in his seat enough that he could easily keep his foot on the brake and reached out a spindling arm to rest along the back of the bench seat, his fingers finding themselves tangling in Sephiroth's soft hair. Green eyes regarded him coolly as he massaged at Sephiroth's scalp.

"So you won't do it?"

Alucard held his gaze, his voice displaying a deceptive tone of resignation. Sephiroth shook his head.

"No."

The crimson eyed man sighed before he offered the other a smile.

"Will you at least come over here and give me a kiss?" He fought to keep the grin off of his face. He knew that Sephiroth would be sucking his cock in no time.

Sephiroth smiled at the uncharacteristic sweetness that Alucard was displaying. He dropped his hand to click off his seatbelt before sliding across the seat, his hips now flush with Alucard's. He felt the hand that had been at the back on his head move to encircle his waist, tugging him closely as green met crimson. Alucard, again, tried to keep from smirking, going more for that love sick dumbass expression that Sephiroth was so easily won over with.

Sephiroth leaned in towards him, dragging his nose against Alucard's chin and across his cheek, their lips barely a hair's width apart.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know…"

He muttered the words lowly before pressing his lips fully to Alucard's, cringing when a collection of high pitched noises resonated from the vehicle next to them. Alucard smirked against the man's lips at Sephiroth's words, pleased that he'd been caught but rewarded anyway.

Their tongues slid noisily together and Sephiroth took Alucard's lower lip between his teeth, giving it a playful tug before pulling away. Alucard smiled darkly as he resumed watching the street light, keeping his arm wrapped tightly around the man next to him.

Alucard appeared to be entirely uninterested when Sephiroth began pressing kisses against his neck, hot breath and hot tongue sliding against his skin in between teasing bites. He loved to make Sephiroth work for a reaction. He also knew how bad ass he must look right now, as he outwardly ignored the sexy thing currently attached to his throat. He smirked when he heard a loud whistle from somewhere across traffic, taking this moment to turn to his right, eyes falling on the outraged parents driving the minivan. The mother was glaring at him while the father was trying his damndest to convince six young children that they should 'look away from the two funny men talking.'

Alucard sighed as a hand slid up his leg. Life was so fucking good.

Sephiroth was breathing heavily in his ear and Alucard groaned his contentment when the traveling hand clutched at the bulge forming in his pants, giving him a squeeze that was almost too tight. The light turned green and Alucard let off the brake, letting the car roll through the busy intersection. Five-o-clock traffic was in for a real treat –Now he just had to keep Sephiroth from realizing that.

"Suck me off…"

At the husky command, Sephiroth lids grew heavier and he gave the man another squeeze, moving his mouth just beneath Alucard's ear.

"I don't want to."

Alucard smiled as Sephiroth withdrew his touch for a fleeting moment. He broke the contact only to slip his hand into the waistband of his slacks to pump at him skin to skin. Alucard shuddered in satisfaction, turning his head slightly to speak against Sephiroth's forehead.

"Do it anyway."

He felt a nip at his jaw and a finger slide purposefully over the slit of his cock.

"How thoughtful of you…"

Sephiroth smirked with his sarcastic words, slowing the movements of his hand when he felt Alucard's arm slide downwards and a large hand grabbed his ass, seemingly just content with squeezing and fondling through his jeans.

Feline eyes rolled before looking around in hesitation. There were a _lot_ of people on the road right now. Alucard noticed his partner's reluctance, watching him through the rearview mirror. He needed to keep Sephiroth from noticing just how many people were already looking at them.

"Don't worry about it, Baby. No one will see you."

This was, of course, a blatant lie, as they were in a convertible vehicle, but Sephiroth was awfully good at letting the details slip when he was turned on. The silver haired man regarded him reluctantly for a moment before he forced his expression into one of playful defeat.

"I suppose, since it won't take _that_ long…"

Alucard opted to ignore the low-blow (and entirely unfounded, in his opinion) insult to his stamina for now, instead contenting himself with the kid driving next to him. He quite enjoyed the expression on the young driver's face as Sephiroth disappeared from sight, his head lowering down to Alucard's lap after one final kiss. The dark haired man only smiled and nodded as he watched the teenager mouth the word "damn."

Life was so fucking good.

He felt the button of his pants be undone and his zipper begin its short descent. Before things could get heavy he removed his arm from Sephiroth, reaching blindly into the backseat for the other man's bag. He only gave a small smirk when green eyes looked up at him, Sephiroth clearly wondering what in the hell could be more important to him when he was about to receive oral sex. Locating the device he'd been seeking, Alucard dropped the pair of white headphones to Sephiroth, giving him a meaningful look. This was crucial to his newly formed plan's success.

"Just pretend we're at home."

Green eyes watched him a moment more before Sephiroth sighed, placing the headphones in his ears as Alucard switched the music player on. It would probably help him forget he was in the middle of traffic, anyway. He looked at Alucard for just a few moments longer while the man angled the rearview mirror downwards. He supposed this way Alucard could watch him with_out_ murdering them in a horrible car accident. The crimson eyed man's ability to see him was also a wonderful thing, as Alucard _always_ came faster when he was watching, and Sephiroth wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. He smirked, priding himself in the knowledge that no man's sexual stamina was a match for him and oral sex when he put his mind to it. His mother would be so proud, the bitch.

It was a truck driver by the name of Barret Wallace, a good Christian man who loved his wife and daughter and had been away from home too long, that glanced to the left when a bright red Cadillac pulled up beside him. He knew instantly that no amount of Sundays or forced tea parties with Marlene would ever erase the image of a platinum haired bombshell slipping her mouth around the throbbing erection of the dark haired man behind the wheel. Sephiroth would have probably been wholly offended that he'd been mistaken for a very beautiful woman that day. Fortunately for Barret, he had been to busy tonguing pulsating flesh to notice.

Alucard smirked at the truck driver before making an illegal right on red, also taking this moment to turn the music up on the small mp3 player and setting his sights on the Whataburger down the road. Hopefully Reno was working today.

Resting his hand on the back of Sephiroth's neck, he flipped his right blinker on and pulled into the drive thru entrance, hoping that Sephiroth wouldn't notice the changes and stops in momentum. Sephiroth generally took oral sex very seriously, however, so he was pretty sure he would be safe.

He rolled along the marked pavement and stopped at the drive thru speaker.

"We're having a great day at Whataburger, order when you're ready."

Alucard's face drew back at the overly cheery greeting, casting his eyes down to the head in his lap. Sephiroth was placing kisses on the tip of his length, and he was trying very hard to keep his eyes open. Knowing that concentrating on the beautiful sight in his lap would destroy his mission, he tore his gaze away and looked to the speaker.

"Is Reno Sinclaire working?"

There was silence for a few moments.

"Um, sir?"

Alucard rolled his eyes.

"Is Reno here today?"

Only static was heard for several seconds before a new voice came over the intercom.

"Look, I told you guys to stop looking for me at work. You fuck up my drive time and get me in trouble. I told you, I will have your money soon."

Alucard cocked an eyebrow at the voice. He opened his mouth to reply but stopped short to shiver as a tongue flicked at the head of his cock, massaging and swirling lazily down the vein along the underside.

It was going to prove difficult dragging this out. He refused to look in the mirror, for fear of catching a glimpse of that devilish tongue on his skin. He always came faster when he watched.

He gave Sephiroth an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder before turning back to the box.

"I'm not your debt collector, Reno."

Once again, silence took over. Alucard began to wonder if there was a five second delay in the relay time, or if these people were just caught off guard by everything. When he finally got a response, Reno's voice had a hint of mischief to it.

"Is this Seph's Boo?"

Alucard stared blankly at the speaker for a second, his eyes flicking down to the head bobbing enthusiastically in his lap. He face contorted into a horrible smile.

"Is that what he refers to me as?"

The man in the car behind him yelled something that he couldn't comprehend, nor did he care to. People were so impatient. He rolled his eyes, regarding the car behind him in the side-view mirror, finding himself met with a glare. He did his best to stare back with no expression, though it was difficult to hold back the shudder when teeth grazed his member in quite a pleasant way. Warm hands slid into his lap, one wrapping around his base to pump while a tongue encircled the head. The other hand snaked downward to clutch at his heavy balls, massaging and rolling them gently. Alucard got the feeling that Sephiroth was trying to get this over with.

"Do you need something? You're killing our drive time."

Alucard rolled heavy eyes and tried to think clearly.

"Yea, just get me a coke."

"What size?"

"Don't care."

"…All right. That'll be $1.70, please pull to the first window."

Smirking, Alucard eased to the first window, his right hand making a quick drag up Sephiroth's spine, resting his hand on the back of his head once more. Reno was waiting at the window when he got there.

"I gave you a large, but I only charged you for a sm—Oh my God." Reno abandoned speech, wide green eyes taking in the nonchalant man and the head of unmistakable bright silver in his lap. Alucard smirked, shifting his left hand to tangle in Sephiroth's hair while his right trailed down to give his ass a firm grasp, quickly slipping his fingers into the back pocket and withdrawing a fifty dollar bill.

He regarded it for nearly a second before passing it to a now grinning Reno.

"Holy shit, man."

Alucard nodded.

"It's not his fault that he loves sucking my dick." He feigned a sigh.

"It's such a burden, though. We can't go anywhere- It's so embarrassing."

He grinned as Reno handed him his drink, enjoying the envious expression on the redhead's face.

"You can keep the change, by the way. He doesn't need it."

Reno let a sly smirk befall his features.

"You sure? You may need it to tip him." He pointed to Sephiroth, his eyes glued to the sight. Alucard spared the white haired man a look before shaking his head and looking to Reno, a serious expression in place.

"Good whores work for free."

Reno laughed, trying not to be too obvious to the people around him as he pocketed $48.30 in change.

"I get off work in about…" The redhead glanced at his watch, a shocked expression showing as he realized the time. "About six minutes ago. I'm meeting Vincent at the park down the road. You guys should, uh, come by." He watched Alucard suppress a shiver. "…If you can last that long."

The last part came with a grin.

Nodding thoughtfully, Alucard pulled out of the drive thru, reentering the busy street, and just in time to see annoyed green eyes three inches from his face. Were he the religious type, he would be thanking every god he knew that Sephiroth hadn't sat up when he was talking to Reno. That would have ruined his whole plan.

"Are you even enjoying this?"

Alucard smiled at the look of annoyance on Sephiroth's face, and how it looked more like a pout with his swollen lips. Placing a quick kiss on those lips, Alucard flashed him a brilliant smile.

"I'm sorry, babe. Maybe you should take your time. You're getting…sloppy."

Sephiroth's jaw dropped slightly, eyes displaying disbelief. He held that expression for a few moments before he realized that Alucard was trying to provoke him. He rolled his eyes and mimicked Alucard's quick peck on the lips before lowering himself back down, this time making himself comfortable, spreading his legs out and pressing his feet against the side of the door. Alucard wanted him to take his time? Fine. He could do this all fucking day.

It only took about ten minutes (and unbeknownst to him, three drive thrus later)for Sephiroth's earlier words to bite him in the ass. His jaw ached, his lips were sore, his tongue was exhausted, and he was tired of feeling like he was breathing through a straw. To top it all off, he fucking hated the song that was currently blaring in his ears. Why in the hell Alucard couldn't just leave the volume alone was beyond him.

Nothing was adding up. It usually took three minutes, seven at the most, to suck Alucard off. It had to have been over half an hour by now. Was he doing something wrong? He sucked Alucard's cock at _least_ twice a day, so it wasn't like he was out of practice. He knew exactly how to do this, so why in the fuck was it taking so damn long?

Alucard was going crazy. He wanted to hurt something, to kill something, to break that something into little, tiny pieces. But more than anything, he wanted to come, which wasn't an option yet. Instead, he continued to squeeze the hell out of his steering wheel to keep from exploding into the mouth that was taking him in and out at a delicious pace. Reno had said that he and Vincent would be here, and he had seen the way Vincent looked at his Sephiroth sometimes. No, no, no, he was going to show that little creature exactly who the white haired man belonged to.

It was the same moment that bright red hair came into sight that Sephiroth decided that he had had enough. He was ending this right now. Whatever Alucard was trying to prove was just going to have to stop, because he was not going to do this any longer. Sex had never given him a headache before.

Removing the stiff length from his mouth, Sephiroth yanked the headphones from his ears, chancing a glance up to Alucard's face. His eyes were closed and a frown was etched on his face. This was obviously difficult for him.

Deep crimson eyes opened when the mouth was removed from him, looking down with heavy lids. A smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth, liking the way his solid erection rubbed against Sephiroth's cheek, smearing pre-cum on that perfect, white face, while large green eyes stared up at him. Swollen lips were parted, a pink tongue skimming over the bottom one. While looking damn sexy, this also allowed Sephiroth to force some feeling back into his lips. He then pulled the lip between his teeth, deciding that, if it meant ending this, he had no problem acting like a wanton slut. Just this once.

Green eyes shifted from their usual sly stare to wide, desperate ones, and heavy breath brushed passed those parted lips. Alucard almost moaned out loud when those desperate eyes moved to his cock and Sephiroth groaned in need.

"God, it's so fucking big…"

Sephiroth's breath came out in gasps, his words husky and weighted down with lust. Internally, he applauded himself for his convincing porn star voice. It wasn't too often that he talked dirty, but when he did, Alucard never stood a chance.

"I just want it in me…God, I fucking want it in me…"

Alucard moaned loudly, watching Sephiroth stare up at him while he worshipped his cock. Sephiroth's eyes closed and he tilted his head up, making a whining noise.

"Can I suck it, Alucard? Please…please let me fucking suck it."

His tongue flicked out and lapped at the head with renewed enthusiasm before Sephiroth taking the tip into his mouth, clenching his eyes shut and moaning loudly as he sucked feverously at it.

Alucard couldn't look away from the sight in his lap; Sephiroth working the head of his erection in and out of his mouth while he moaned like Alucard was actually fucking him.

"Fucking God…" Sephiroth continued to mutter around the thick flesh in his mouth. Alucard felt a dizziness overtake him and the blood thundered in his ears as he felt something in his lower belly tense and his balls pulled tight.

"Alucard…please…" Sephiroth whined between taking the head in and out of his mouth as though his life depended on it, his hand working the shaft. Every word he said sounded as though he were in mid-orgasm. Alucard could just picture that it was Sephiroth's tight body he was driving in and out of, and not his mouth, each thrust pushing his lover closer to the edge. He could practically feel the walls tightening around him; see Sephiroth's face tense, moaning his pleasure as he came.

"Fuck me…"

At those words, Alucard exploded, unbelievably turned on by the filthy things his lover was saying, and the positively raunchy way that he was saying them. He breathed heavily as Sephiroth continued to suck him, working him to absolute completion.

He let the flesh slip from his tired mouth, his eyes regarding the man above him with skepticism as he tucked him back into his pants. He had been planning on asking something along the lines of 'What was _that_ all about,' though the question never made it out of thought-form when a hand slapped him sharply on the ass. A hand that, seeing that one was still in his hair and the other was loosely draped over the steering wheel, did not belong to Alucard.

"Damn, Seph! Is it my turn?!"

Sephiroth sat up as if he'd been struck, though technically he had, and came face to face with Reno. The redhead was bent over with his arms and chin resting on the door. Behind him, Vincent was staring at him with ill-hidden shock. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and anger coursed through him.

"You fucking _bastard_."

Alucard said nothing, merely smiling at the glare he was receiving from his near fuming lover. Sephiroth held the gaze until it was apparent that Alucard was wholly unaffected. He then turned his sights to his newly discovered audience.

"Vincent," he dipped his head. "Reno. You have a nice day."

With that, he popped open the door and slid from the vehicle, not sparing Alucard another glance as he slammed the door shut and began walking towards the main road.

"Seph…" Alucard gave a halfhearted call, though the only response he received was the middle finger.

"Ooohhh…" Reno sounded, laughing and looking to Alucard in sympathy.

"In trouble now, huh?"

Alucard rolled his eyes.

"Please, he'd die without me."

He heard a cough come from Vincent's direction, and something that he couldn't make out be muttered under his breath. He ignored it for now, he had other problems. Given the circumstances of their first meeting, if Sephiroth thought he was going to hitch a ride some, he had another thing coming. It was obvious that Sephiroth would have not the slightest trouble luring someone to pick him up, either.

Horrified by the mental images of Sephiroth getting picked up by some rapist maniac—or worse—a charming, attractive man who would treat him right, Alucard threw open the door and jumped out, ignoring Reno's laughter and Vincent's knowing smile as he began running after his lover.

"Seph!" He glowered when Sephiroth didn't turn around. He _knew_ that he could hear him.

-- -- -- -- --

Back by the car, Reno and Vincent watched on as Alucard tried and failed to get their friend's attention. Vincent only shook his head, a smile on his face.

"Never thought _that _man would be wrapped around Sephiroth's little finger." He withheld a snicker when Alucard made a threatening gesture towards a car pulling to the side of the road.

" He's completely whipped."

Reno laughed, watching as Alucard yelled at the man offering to give Sephiroth a lift.

"I don't think that "whipped" is the right word for it." He tilted his head in consideration.

"I think he's just obsessively possessive."

Vincent shrugged. It all sounded the same to him.

-- -- -- -- --

Sephiroth rolled his eyes in annoyance as the confused driver eyed Alucard. He seemed to have weighed the options, deciding that in the end, driving away would be safer than dealing with the nightmare of a human being behind him.

The driver gave him an apologetic wave before pulling back onto the road about the same time that Sephiroth felt a large hand wrap around his upper arm. He turned to find Alucard staring menacingly after the retreating vehicle. As soon as the car was out of sight, crimson eyes moved to him, the anger flooding out to be replaced with a nonchalant indifference.

"And where were you trying to go, exactly?"

Sephiroth only scowled at the man gripping him, wondering, not for the first time, why he put up with this asshole. When he was only given a blank stare, Alucard released a sigh.

"Look, babe..."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, wondering what Alucard could possibly say to get himself back into his good graces. He could already tell you that 'I didn't mean to let your friends watch you give me head while you moaned like a bitch' was _not_ going to do the trick. He was not in a forgiving mood.

"I'm sorry."

Sephiroth had actually been stumped, not expecting that response from the man at all, though his thoughts soured when a sly smirk spread out over those infuriating lips.

"Let me buy you lunch."

Sephiroth had been prepared to walk away at the first sign of that cocky smirk, but the mention of lunch stopped him. Alucard saw the waver in those hard, green eyes and gave an internal laugh of triumph. Sephiroth gave him a look that was supposed to appear only half interested, though Alucard knew him well enough to see that he'd gotten his attention. The smirk became a small smile.

"Where ever you want. Lunch is on your boo today."

Alucard tried not to laugh at the ridiculous look that Sephiroth was giving him. Perhaps that had been something that Reno had made up.

"I'm sorry, my _what_?"

Alucard only shook his head, stepping closer to his ill-tempered lover.

"How does Wendy's sound?

Sephiroth's eyes flashed, all previous thoughts of malicious intent leaving him at the mention of his favorite fast food restaurant. He let a smile come over his face as he reached up to take the hand still clutching his arm, stepping away and pulling the taller man with him.

"Wendy's."

Alucard smirked and he allowed himself to be 'dragged' back to his car. The smirk quickly slid from his face, however, when he found Reno behind the wheel of the Cadillac.

Vincent was standing outside of the car, just next to the driver's door with his arms crossed and a bored expression on his face. Anyone who knew him well enough, however, could see the humored glint in those red eyes. Reno was far too in to his driving simulation, much too preoccupied making horrible noises with his mouth to substitute the engine that he'd not quite been brave enough to start, to notice the approaching footfalls.

"I told him not to touch it, but he would not hear reason. I couldn't stop him. He was just too strong…" Vincent punctuated his lazy statement with a yawn, smiling at the unconvinced look on Alucard's face.

"Reno."

The stern voice reached Reno's ears, stopping him from completing his vicious left turn and snapping him back into reality.

"Get out of my car."

Reno gave Alucard a nervous smile, his palms raised in submission.

"All right, all right. Sorry…God." He turned his eyes to Sephiroth, who was crawling into the passenger's seat next to him. Reno gave him a sarcastic expression.  
"I guess you have to _work_ for your right to sit in this car, huh?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and leaned over the redhead, opening the door for him.

"No one is allowed in the driver's seat."

Reno raised an eyebrow, though Sephiroth couldn't see it from his position.

"Not even you?"

Sephiroth paused on his way back up from opening the door, his mouth just next to Reno's ear.

"I have to be naked and the keys can't be in the ignition."

Reno made a stunned "oh" face, dumbly allowing Sephiroth to shove him out of the car. He gathered himself before he could be fully pushed out, jumping out on his own at the last second. Once out of the seat, he grinned at an impatient Alucard, wondering what it was about this man in particular that had Sephiroth breaking his back to please him.

Alucard glared at him and moved to get into the car, Reno stepping out of his way and over to Vincent. The car started up and Sephiroth smiled at Vincent while Alucard was content to ignore them completely.

"Oh! I meant to tell you! Congratulations on the apartment!"

Alucard dipped his head in acknowledgement as he backed the car out of the parking spot, smirking at Vincent as he did so.

"Thank you."

Reno nodded enthusiastically.

"Yea! And if you need help moving anything…Call Zack!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and shook his head, watching Alucard shift the car into drive and pull away.

"I'm having second thoughts about Wendy's."

Alucard raised an eyebrow, regarding him curiously. He was having doubts about Wendy's? This was new.

"Oh?"

Sephiroth nodded.

"I'm craving a hotdog."

A second eyebrow raised, joining the first one, Alucard now looking at him with humored amusement.

"Really? You want a hotdog?" He motioned around the car and to his lap. "After all that?"

Sephiroth looked shocked for a moment before blankness overtook his face.

"Wendy's."

Alucard only smirked, all too happy to comply. If Sephiroth would have wanted to go to Checkers, the second half of his plan would have been ruined; he hadn't stopped there earlier. He was sure that the Wendy's staff would be thrilled to see them, as Sephiroth had been a bit preoccupied when they'd come by half an hour ago. Not that Sephiroth needed to know that.

--

The ride was silent and brief, and soon enough they were pulling into the lot, forgoing the drive thru entrance. Sephiroth looked at Alucard inquisitively.

"We're eating inside?"

Alucard put the car in park and shut the engine off, leaning over to grab Sephiroth's chin and kiss his lips.

"Only the best for my girl."

Sephiroth didn't bother taking offense to the comment, as he'd eventually grown used to the older man referring to him in feminine terminology. Smiling softly, he pulled away from Alucard and got out of the car, wondering how many chicken nuggets it would take to make up for his utter humiliation at the park.

Alucard watched from the car as Sephiroth walked around the back and waited for him. He eyed the raised peg on the door, wondering why, for all of Sephiroth's brilliance, he could not remember to lock the door. He decided not to say anything about it this time and leaned over, popping the peg down and exiting the Cadillac. He wasn't in the mood to hear Sephiroth's 'What's the point of locking a car with no roof' argument right now. It was too friggen hard to win.

He joined Sephiroth behind the vehicle, laughing internally at how Sephiroth smiled when he took his hand in his own. Sephiroth was not going to stay angry with him for long if he could help it. He was confident that he could pull out all the gentlemanly tricks without compromising his badass image to these people, either. Not after he drove by with his cock down Sephiroth's throat.

Feline eyes gave surveyed him in approval when Alucard took several long strides, passing the other man and releasing Sephiroth's hand to pull the door open for him. In his heart, he knew that Sephiroth could see right through him, but that wasn't a concern. He knew that, with Sephiroth, it was usually the thought and act that counted, and not the genuine intent. Right now his genuine intent was not spending four hundred dollars in a fast food joint. This was, to make matters worse, the "Shitty Wendy's," as Sephiroth had dubbed it. Not that that had ever stopped the man's loyal patronage. So much for "only the best for his girl."

As they approached the counter, Alucard could already hear the hushed whispers, bathing in the looks of awe from the staff. Yea, he was the shit.

"Welcome to Wendy's, is this for here or to go?"

The man had a tight smile as he gave the greeting. Sephiroth loved friendly customer service.

"Hello, Stew. It's for here."

He felt Alucard's hand trace up his side and come to rest on his hip, which caused the man at the register to look at the taller man in admiration, as well as to give a slight chuckle. The silver haired man stole a glance at Alucard to see if he was missing something, but Alucard only looked away from the lit up menu to stare at him questioningly. Despite the innocent, or as innocent as Alucard got, expression on the tall man's face, Sephiroth was pretty sure there was something he wasn't getting. Stew was looking at Alucard like he was some sort of god. Sephiroth tried to shake it off, finally looking away from Alucard, who shrugged, and back to the menu.

"I'll have a number nine, please. With a Coke."

Stew pressed the button on his register.

"Yes, sir. What kind of sau—" the man seemed to choke on a laugh before regaining his wavering composure.

"What kind of sauce would you like, sir?" His stance was quivering slightly, and his face was tinged pink with contained laughter. Sephiroth just raised an eyebrow, becoming quickly fed up with the situation. Alucard, on the other hand, seemed to be taking it surprisingly well.

"None, thanks…"

Stew nodded.

"And what size drink, sir? Small, medium…?" He trailed off.

"Extra large."

Alucard looked away to keep the smirk out of sight, enjoying what the innuendo suggested. The cashier turned to the drink machine to keep from laughing, busying himself with filling the gigantic paper cup to keep from offending his favorite customer. Sephiroth just glared at the man, taking an instinctive step closer to Alucard as he felt himself bristle in annoyance.

"I'd also like a large Frosty."

Stew only nodded without looking away from the soda machine. Sephiroth tilted his face upwards to give Alucard a look, his eyes jumping incredulously from them to the cashier. Alucard only wrapped his other arm around him and shrugged before resting his chin on the top of Sephiroth's skull.

"Maybe that's just what happens when you work in fast food for too long."

Sephiroth seemed to accept this answer, though he now found himself quite weary of Stew and the fry cook, who kept glancing in their direction. He frowned; he thought they were friends. Surely all of those free Frosties had been a sign of friendship, unless they'd been leading him on. He felt immediate relief when Joyce, Sephiroth's favorite drive thru attendant, came to the counter and gave him a bright smile, setting down their order tray.

"Hey, honey."

Sephiroth quickly returned the smile, his posture relaxing visibly. He disentangled himself from Alucard's embrace and stepped closer to her.

"Good morning, Joyce. How are Bethany and Melissa?"

Alucard made a face and nudged Sephiroth, causing the pale haired man to roll his eyes, as if this was something that Alucard should have already known.

"Her two daughters." He replied offhandedly. "Melissa had strep throat on Tuesday, and we were worried that Bethany, her youngest, would come down with it next.

Alucard stared at the back of his lover's silvery head emotionlessly as 'Joyce' proceeded to explain the poor health conditions that her children were suffering.

It was after a short conversation on phlegm that the middle aged, white trashy woman turned to him. Really, couldn't she just give them their food and let them sit down? It probably wouldn't have been so difficult if Sephiroth would stop encouraging her. Did _his_ lover really mingle with _this_? Sickening.

"So this is the guy whose always got you in such a hurry to get home?"

Suddenly, Alucard became much more interested. This was, coincidentally, just the time that Sephiroth wanted to get very far away, very fast. The white haired man reached for the tray, but Alucard grabbed his arm and pulled him closer.

"He talks about me?"

The older woman eyed the flustered look on her favorite customer's face and then observed the sly looking, dark haired man.

"I'd love to tell you all of the wonderful things that he says, Hun, but I'm afraid that the Wendy's-Sephiroth Confidentially Act does not allow me to share." Alucard did a double-take.

"The what?" He really hoped she had just made that up.

It was the man hunched over the deep fryer that supplied him with an answer.

"The Wendy's-Sephiroth Confidentiality Act. Established three years ago."

Crimson eyes stared on in an unimpressed manner, Alucard feeling more than a little disgusted.

"Okay."

Relinquishing Sephiroth's arm, Alucard reaching for his wallet, motioning for his companion to grab the food.

"What's my total?"

Stew waved his hand dismissively.

"Food's on the house today."

The man gave Alucard a knowing smile, though when Alucard returned the gesture he quickly looked away, discomfort washing over him at the sight of that grin. _Too many teeth._

Alucard nodded, smiling wider after having frightening the attendant, and moved to walk away. Sephiroth remained where he stood.

"Why?"

Stew looked at him in confusion.

"…Because?"

The man had heard rumors of Sephiroth's temper, and he had no desire to ignite it. Plus, he was pretty sure that if he pissed off this guy, he'd probably piss off the taller man in turn, which he did _not_ want to do. Silver brows furrowed at the response, which caused Stew to freeze up with uncertainty. He didn't quite know what to say from here. Who in the hell argued with free food?

"Honey." It was Alucard who broke into his lover's interrogation, his voice sarcastic and condescending.

"Your chicken nuggets are getting cold."

Sephiroth never looked away from the cashier.

"I'm just going to dip them in my Frosty anyway. Now why—"

"_Honey._" Alucard's voice had grown stern, leaving no room for question, not that it had ever stopped Sephiroth from ignoring him before.

"Your Frosty is getting warm."

Sephiroth paused, looking down at his food. He really didn't want his Frosty to get warm. But he also wasn't going to let Alucard get out of this restaurant without paying a dime. This was supposed to be an apology lunch. He swiftly reached over to Alucard, slipping his hand into the deep front pocket of the black slacks, fishing for the man's wallet. Alucard just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, waiting patiently while his significant other mugged him. The employees watched on in interest.

"Wallet's in the back pocket. If you wanted to jack me off, you could have just asked."

Sephiroth didn't reply, he only snatched the wallet from the aforementioned pocket and flipped it open, inspecting the contents briefly before withdrawing three twenties. He slapped them on the counter, sliding them in Stew's direction.

"Take Carla out to dinner."

He handed the wallet back to Alucard and grabbed his tray.

"I don't feel like eating inside anymore. I want to go home."

Sephiroth flicked his eyes from Stew to this tray.

"I'll bring this back tomorrow."

Alucard watched Sephiroth make his way out of the building and into the parking lot, cringing when he set the tray of food on the hood of the car while he reached in to pop the lock open.

"He really likes you, you know."

Alucard turned to see Joyce smiling at him in an unnerving way. Like he needed her to tell him that. He was fairly confident Sephiroth more than "really liked him," anyway. But it was, he had to admit, nice to hear it from an outside source.

"Yeah." Alucard deposited his wallet into his pocket for the second time.

"I "really like" him. But I've said that under the Wendy's-Alucard Confidentiality Act. Established today."

He moved briskly to the condiment table, having realized that Sephiroth had neglected to get the four quarts of mayonnaise into which he so enjoyed submerging his fries. If he spilled any of it in his car, he'd just have to work off the damages. Sexually, of course.

"Kind of messy for such a nice car, isn't it?"

He really wished that these pathetic people would stop talking to him. Just because Sephiroth saw them as a second family didn't mean _he_ wanted anything to do with them. Hell, he didn't even want anything to do with Sephiroth's _real_ family.

"It'll just blend in with the cum stains after I've fucked him in my back seat."

Joyce looked wide eyed and Stew choked a bit as Alucard made his way out of the wretched place, joining his favorite living thing in the car. He was _never_ going back in that place.

After the events in the restaurant, Alucard had expected Sephiroth to be angry again. Instead, however, he was greeted with a smile when he slid into the car, followed by a very cold, very chocolaty kiss.

"Thank you for lunch."

Alucard shrugged in acknowledgment, putting the keys in the ignition and starting the car.

"Of course. Up until you slapped sixty dollars on the table, I had thought that you were a rather cheap date."

Sephiroth smiled, running a chicken nugget through the chocolate ice-cream. Alucard patted the middle of the bench seat as he pulled out onto the road.

"Come sit by me."

Sephiroth popped the nugget into his mouth, holding his Frosty and carefully moving his tray, sliding over to sit flush against Alucard. This was a commodity that they could only exercise in Alucard's vehicle. The bucket seats crushed any chance of sitting in the middle in Sephiroth's car. The gear shift made it near impossible, anyway.

Alucard made a mental decision to buy Sephiroth a Frosty more often. He was so compliant when he was happy. He wrapped an arm around the pale haired man's shoulder and snatched up a French fry as he slowed down for the light.

--

Sephiroth had long since finished off his food by the time the Cadillac pulled up in front of a large, well-kept, very expensive looking apartment complex. Cutting off the engine, Alucard looked to Sephiroth, who had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What?"

Sephiroth turned to face him, looking at him neutrally.

"We have a lot of sex."

Alucard returned the calm gaze and gave a shallow nod.

"Yes."

Sephiroth released a small laugh before shaking his head.

"I almost feel sorry for our neighbors."

Alucard smirked at the thought, wondering how many complaint calls they could get by tomorrow morning. May as well aim high on their first day, right? Perhaps if he tried hard enough, they'd get a visit from the landlord. He was more than confident in his ability to make Sephiroth scream for him. How he'd love to send Sephiroth to answer the door, his body shaking and sweat soaked, wrapped in only a sheet. He could picture him and his swollen lips and flushed face asking the landlord what the matter was. Apartment life together was going to be fun.

Gripping the steel handle and pushing open the door, Alucard climbed from the vehicle. Once out, he turned back to Sephiroth, offering him his hand, altogether eager to get the man into their new home.

"Shall we?"

**.33.33.33.**

A/N: Have I forced this pairing on you enough that anyone else has become hopelesly attached to it? Not yet? Guess I'll have to try harder :)


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